If you didn’t know what “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was before you watched this video, but now think it’s important because Lady Gaga told you it was, throw yourself off a bridge.

At first, I was going to say this video is all bullshit, but I will say it has some strong points. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is an outrageous bullshit policy that makes no sense and Lady Gaga’s heart is in the right place. Those people she mentions by name whose lives have been severely damaged, if not ruined, by DADT might not have had their stories told to a mass audience if she hadn’t made this video, and kudos to her for letting those people have their stories told.

But here’s where I take issue: First of all, who the fuck does Lady Gaga think she is saying “I’m a voice of a generation?” I’m not even talking about her music, “bad romance” is an alright song and she’s got some other good ones (no homo), but if some girl I’ve never met before with a big nose that wears dresses made out of meat and lightbulbs thinks for a hot second that her voice represents me she’s got another thing coming, I don’t give a shit how many records she’s sold or how much money she’s made. If Lady Gaga is the voice of our generation we might as well all throw ourselves into the ocean because unless the next generation elects John Wayne Gacy to be their voice it couldn’t possibly get worse than this.

And here’s the other thing: I only heard about this video because mad people posted it on facebook like it’s the latest superimportant-but-actually-not-the-least-bit-important-news-story. Like, last week it was the redneck preacher who was going to burn the Qu’ran, then the ground zero mosque that wasn’t actually a mosque or at ground zero, then wherever lebron james got traded to, and then some other shit that didn’t matter. 

But I digress. What’s really ridiculous is that I’ve heard more people talking about Congress repealing DADT now that Lady Gaga spoke out on it than I did back in February when Obama, Defense Secretary Robert Gates, and the mothafuckin’ Joint Chiefs of Staff all called on Congress to repeal the policy. 

A lot of celebrities may have their heart in the right place and think they’re helping people when they decide to become activists, and sometimes they are actually helping people, like Brad Pitt building houses in post-Katrina New Orleans, but why do so many people take their political cues from celebrities? Doesn’t everyone see that as being highly problematic? First of all, all of these celebrities are totally full of shit. How many celebrities claim to be championing environmental causes but fly in private jets? Plus, they get inflated egos when people give them credit and they start saying bullshit like “I’m the voice of a generation.”

And these celebrities really when it comes down to it have no business talking like their political experts because they’re entertainers. They are famous because they entertain. If I want to play a convincing part in a movie I’d consult Alec Baldwin, but I don’t give a shit about what he thinks on economic policy because at the end of the day he really doesn’t know more than the average person. Let’s listen to people in politics about politics before we listen to celebrities about politics, because if Miss California has taught us anything, a lot of these people are fuckin idiots.

Posted 9/20/10.